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Several years back I was talked into dating a guy I met at the gym. By 'talked into' I mean I really was not into this person, but he was extremely persistent so I eventually said, “Okay, I'll go out with you.”

So we saw each other for about five months, and though we had some fun together, the majority of the time I was generally annoyed. However, I didn't have a real reason to end it. There were some red flags and some of the things he was saying didn't fully add up, but he had not done anything really wrong.... yet. And – call me crazy – but telling someone you have to break up with them because you find them generally irritating.... like even the sound of you breathing gets under my skin.... sounds just a little bit harsh. Also, I have discovered that if you give a scoundrel a little bit of rope they will eventually hang themselves anyway, so that's what I did.

One night he gets a text message at 1:30am from "a client." He was a personal trainer and claimed that his clients had full access to him.
So I said, “Okay, well let me see your phone and if if it says something like 'Oh my God I almost ate a doughnut' then I will apologize profusely and I will never question you again.”
 
As you can imagine he was not excited about my proposition.
 
“Why do you want to see my phone? Why don't you trust me? That's weird. What are you hiding?” (classic cheater move – try to turn it around on the other person to avoid your guilt.)
 
“Give me the phone.” I insist.
 
He tried to delete the message before giving it to me, but I was built for speed and snatched it out of his hand. Like I figured, I opened up an entire string of what I would call 'Erotic Text Messages.' This erotic texter was not the only one either. There were several girls that he was inappropriately contacting.
 
Clearly enough ammo to to bid this Total Waste Of Time adieu.
In fact, that is what I have come to call him: Total Waste Of Time (TWOT), which is just one vowel away from being a very derogatory term for a vagina. (Now for the record I have nothing negative to say about the vagina, I think it's great – very happy that I have one – but it seems calling a man a vagina is one of the worst possible insults, so let's run with it.)
 
Months later I was having coffee with one of my close friends. He and I have known each other since our freshman year of college, and we try to get together every couple of months. So, we were catching up and I told him about my relationship fail and then I remembered that he had been with his girlfriend for over a year, so I asked him about her.
His face fell and he told me that he caught her with someone else. He told me the details of the story and when he mentioned that the guy was a trainer, my mouth went dry.
“What's your girlfriend's last name?” I asked him. The erotic texter had a last initial next to her name. He told me and it confirmed that my boyfriend and his girlfriend, who had never met through us, were cheating together!
What are the odds?!?!
I actually started laughing because I just couldn't believe it, but my friend's face was completely white. I had, unknowingly, put together a timeline that they had been together a lot longer than he thought. I was not very upset by what the TWOT did to me, but I knew that my friend really cared for this girl and seeing him hurt made me angry.
 
The TWOT had been trying to get back together with me since that night I found those texts. Claiming it never got physical and that she was basically stalking him. He called her crazy, disgusting, he said that he had to hide at work because she would randomly stop by. Now I had ironclad proof that he was lying and I could hopefully get him to leave me alone, but I also thought I should call her and let her know about the pile of dogshit she picked up. So I did, and lets just say it was enlightening for us both. I was never angry with her, at least not for myself. She knew she made a mistake by hurting my friend, and I believe since then they have come to friendly terms with each other.
 
As for the TWOT I could care less about what he is doing. But, I will say he did give me a really funny, unbelievably ironic, no-way-that-could-happen kind of story. So, for that I am grateful!

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Latest comments

16.04 | 10:33

WOW! What an exciting read. I'm so glad you find humor in all of that craziness lol
I admire the heck outta you!

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26.03 | 11:20

I recall a happy fun person who use too work across the hallway from me. At the Flatirons mall, I hope and pray life still can be as it was for you then!

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26.03 | 01:31

I recall a happy fun person who use too work across the hallway from me. At the Flatirons mall, I hope and pray life still can be as it was for you then!

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18.09 | 15:17

hmmmm so... you have a few "issues".... gottcha... :)

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